Today is November 6th, 2024 and not my favorite day. Although, I’ve lived through much worse days. I have been so stressed about this presidential election. Some days, it has eaten me alive. I couldn’t see myself being okay if trump was to win. I am not going to lie, it did break my heart. I cried. It is terrifying for so many people for so many reasons. My emotions are kind of on a rollercoaster, though. I have moments where I feel like we will be okay. We will somehow get through this. Even if things get bad, there will be light once more.

I write about healing, self-love and emotional abuse. I write about my experiences with these topics. It feels important to write something today since these topics are so heavily intertwined into current events.

I will NEVER support abuse, an abusive individual or a group of abusers. I will never be silent in the face of abuse. I will never pretend it isn’t happening, that it isn’t that bad or that it is justified. I may be sad, I may be scared, but I will not let that change who I am or what I stand for. I will be brave and resilient, as I have been throughout my life. I am human, I have made mistakes, but I have learned from each one. I have reflected so heavily on my life throughout my healing process. I do not want to hurt people. I want to lift others up. I strive for kindness, care, love and thoughtfulness. At the same time, I also cannot allow any form of abuse to exist in my life. I would rather be alone than surrounded by people who lack good morals and ethics. I would rather be alone than around people I feel I cannot trust. Especially after what I have personally experienced, it is important for me to create safety in my life. I need to be surrounded by genuine, kind, empathetic and caring people. I need people in my life who share similar values and beliefs.

After being stabbed in the back and emotionally abused by people who were supposed to be “family,” I have grown more resilient and better able to set necessary boundaries. I no longer care what other people think of me. I no longer care who exits my life if it is for the best. All I care about is keeping myself and my family safe. I care about being my best self and doing good things.

When it comes to the election results, it is very disheartening to see such support for an abusive individual. It can be a little triggering for people who have experienced abuse. At least that is how it feels for me. Yet, this will not last forever. It may be difficult, scary, sad and who knows what else, although one day it will be over. Just like the abuse I have endured or others have endured. One day, it will be a tough lesson, a trauma to recover from. One day, there will be light, peace, freedom and safety. Until that day, I am going to continue to make my space safe and extend that safety to those who need it. You are not alone if you can relate and feel similarly.

My personal and non-professional advice is to protect yourselves and your loved ones. Make your space safe. Focus on your peace, self-care, self-love and healing. We cannot give up. We deserve peaceful, free and happy lives. We are just going to have to work more for it. We can do it. However you can, do something to help yourself or others. Don’t let hate make you hateful. It can be hard, but we cannot let the toxicity destroy us. We have to work through the negative emotions and continue to be the people this world needs. Focus on how you can be more kind, knowledgeable, helpful, loving and caring. I think that it is important to honor our emotions and also take a good, long look in the mirror. Are we being kind and thoughtful? Are we standing up to injustice? Or are we being subconsciously or consciously driven by greed, ignorance or hate? Are we ignoring injustice because we think it will better our own lives somehow? Are we ignoring hate because we are scared? I think it is important to really analyze ourselves and our thoughts at times.

You cannot support one aspect of an evil without supporting the entire evil.

A person who spreads hate, who has incited violence and is a rapist is not a kind or caring person, right? A person who has no empathy, self-reflection or remorse is not a safe person, right? When you support a person who has done such awful things, you are supporting those evil things. You are ignoring them which is as good as saying that those things are okay.

Overall, I have a lot that I could say. I also feel a little all over the place. After what I went through, I struggled with a lot of confusion and self-doubt. That creeps in at times. How are all of these people okay with this hateful guy? Am I crazy for thinking that this is not okay? These are similar thoughts I had when I went through emotional abuse. Throughout the fog, my soul is screaming to me that I am not crazy. My heart knows that this is not okay. I can see the implications of having someone so un-presidential as president. I cannot explain to my child what she will see the president say and do. I cannot make it logical or justify it. It is not normal and it is not healthy.

I will continue to use my voice for others and for good. I will continue to educate myself and better myself. I will continue to protect myself, my family and others. A lot of us did not ask for this. We do not want our rights, freedoms and livelihoods threatened or taken. This election was very personal to a lot of us. A lot of us feel uncomfortable and unsafe. It is unfortunate that others may not be able to understand that due to a lack of empathy or their own privilege. Again, it is important to self-reflect and look into our souls. We all have the power to better ourselves, be kind and make the world a better place.

Sending love and light to those that need it today.